Singledom- Embrace or Disgrace?

As I was browsing the book store earlier this week, I stumbled upon some really interesting reads. While skimming through everything from “Why Men Love Bitches” to “Catch Him and Keep Him,” I started really thinking about the craziness of dating. In this world where everyone has an opinion, how do you know which one to actually take?

One book says not to appear too available, and in the next it advises us to make sure he knows you are interested. When did dating become so inorganic? When did we start wanting to become another person in order to attract someone, rather then letting the attraction be based on who we are? Why did women become so desperate? I understand self help books and all the positivity surrounding them. As a woman who has been through a few life crises that required self help in many forms, I am truly grateful to those who are willing to share their words of wisdom. I guess my biggest query is: When did being a single woman turn into the plague?

When one says single, I think: liberating, care free and exploration of one self, not fatal, miserable and inferior. Being single is a time to osmose yourself and others so that when you meet someone special, you two can start relishing life together. When it comes to dating, I believe in the “Law of Attraction- Metaphysical New Thought belief that ‘like attracts like’, that positive and negative thinking bring about positive and negative physical results, respectively.” The quality and quantity of men one attracts is according to the woman you are, not the woman you pretend to be. Look at the other relationships in life. One doesn’t put on a facade to attract women to become friends with her. We simply attract women who have the same interests and outlook on life as we do. Why should dating, or building relationships with the opposite sex be anything different?

Maybe just maybe we should live life as if men were not an option or issue. Rather then spending money and time on sorting out how to be perfect for a man, we can spend time and money to better ourselves for ourselves, letting the men come when they and we are ready.

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