Since I had multiple questions in my formspring in regards to this idea, I gather that some of you still think you are living in a fairy tale... If for some off chance you are the nearly nonexistent female that can have sex and be totally attracted to your best friend while never considering the thought you two could end up happily ever after- more power to you and hump away. For the rest of you I will explain why you can't bone your best friend into your soulmate.
When a man and woman meet there is an instant when you subconsciously decide whether you are attracted to the person or not. Obviously you can initially believe you aren't attracted to someone but their personality etc. can win you over and change your perspective... But that whole time he/she was trying to win you over. They were chasing you, trying to win your affection and attention in various ways and you caved.
Let's say there was an unspoken, mutual decision that neither of you were attracted, but you had enough in common to remain friends. Right there a line was drawn and neither of you wanted to cross it. Neither side was willing to start the chase and the relationship will remain platonic. The second you cross that line sexually there are a few key factors that come into play.
For starters, ego. You two have now crossed the line and both ego's are delicate. If you were just friends, the ego remains selfless as it isn't yearning for affection, appreciation or validation. Who is going to call first? Do we talk about it or pretend it never happened? Is this going to happen again? What does this mean? The possibility does also remain that one person in this friendship was waiting for this the whole time. That he/she did not attempt to pursue the other for fear of rejection, or that their own ego would be bruised. Now that you have fornicated the hopeful half of this friendship might see this as an opportunity and the mixed signals from the backlash of the seemingly harmless (probably drunken) evening is now ruining your friendship.
Last but not least ladies, let me introduce you to oxytocin. What is oxytocin? Remember that douche bag you dated that you couldn't seem to get enough of because you two had this awesome- "connection." Well, there was no connection, anyone can release oxytocin in our system with anything from simple fondling to fornication. Known as the "cuddle hormone," oxytocin increases our sense of trust and dependancy on a partner as soon as we orgasm.
So, if none of this article is convincing enough to stop you from embarking on a friends with benefits saga, than he must be hot enough to sacrifice anyway so good luck and have a sexy time.
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